One of the biggest challenges I see on a daily basis with my clients, and within myself is rewriting habits that have formed over years. Habits that seem to define who we are, somehow we get too attached to things we do and we let them become a part of our identities.
Understanding and accepting that one has attached more than just a physical or mental habit to their lives but to their identity can be the best first step towards creating their truest and most desired self.
Second, The next step requires some brainstorming… YOU have to figure out WHO you want to be – down to the core. What do you first want to identify yourself as? And then you can think about how you want society i.e friends, family, coworkers, and strangers to identify you as. It is important to remember that the one true person that matters HERE is YOU. So I’ll repeat myself… WHO do YOU want to identify yourself as? – WHO do YOU want to be? NOW write down who you truest and greatest self is and post it on your wall, mirror, or somewhere else you’ll see it daily.
Once you have figured out how you want to be identified… (remember we are our biggest critics) then we can start the third step. Aligning our lives with who we are. This is where we have to kind of go through our natural lives and determine if something, or someone in our lives doesn’t align us with our greater selves. This is the part where letting go of your old identity becomes a crucial step, afterall – you have already decided WHO you ACTUALLY want to be right?
Step number four, write it down.You can make a note, write in a journal or simply make a checklist, but you have to remember what is helping you be you and what is not. I find it to be the best if I write things down… they tend to become more real. And therefore harder to back down from. This part can be tricky, stressful and often emotional. There is a huge difference between saying you’re okay with letting go of your old self and actually putting in the action to do so. This step is just about writing down all that doesn’t align with your future and greater self. Write it down and post it where you will see it on a daily basis.
The fifth step is simple. Once you’ve made your list of what in your life isn’t allowing you to be your truest and most desired self you can now make a new list. This new list will contain replacement habits for those that you are trying to get rid of. For example, if you are trying to become a more optimistic and positive person but you know that watching tv makes for a long time make you irritated and more likely to be in a poor mood – pick something that would uplift you. Possibly reading a book, or listening to calm music. Whatever it is that you would like to shift in your life, pick a healthy more aligned option for when that habit comes up in your life.
EX: HABIT vs. GOAL:
- Drinking a lot of caffeine
- Have an abundance of natural energy
- Watch less Netflix
- Read a new book
Lastly, at this point you can relax a little. As you live each day pick one thing on your list to work on. Pick one small aspect of your daily life that you want to improve upon. This could be something as simple as drinking water through the day or spending less time on your phone. When you have mastered your new habit (your replacement habit) you can start working on another. It is important to not overwhelm yourself. So I encourage you to only work on one or possibly two habits at a time. It takes energy, focus, and patience to successfully change habits and in order to have the best chance possible – ONE at a TIME is the best method.
As always Stay Healthy,
Cassandra